I lowered myself into the chair against the far wall of the waiting room, its sickly green upholstery sighing far more than seemed reasonable.
A clock ticked sharply, and I scanned the room until I found the antique hanging precariously above the receptionist’s desk. The only reason I hadn’t noticed it when I checked in was the bizarre height at which it was situated, nearly brushing against the ceiling. It was an odd, misshapen thing that seemed overfull despite containing only the usual parts of a clock. With every tick, the second hand grated against the glass exterior, making the whole structure wobble..
I returned my gaze to a more sensible level, my watch, feeling foolish as I realized that I hadn’t actually read the time on the clock. Analog never made sense to me; too many arms.
The man across from me occupied a chaise that resembled a melting vanilla ice cream cone tipped on its side, with the hue to match. It seemed like the sort of fixture that a new-age designer created as a stunt, not something meant for practical usage. Yet there he sat, resting a heavy arm atop the raised part of the chaise. Despite the bizarre construction, the man seemed perfectly comfortable, nearly sinking into the cushions as he stroked a brown cat that was curled in his lap, its cool face turned toward me.
He smiled at me and his chin stretched. His shirt, a thin white tank top, shifted slightly as he did this, as though conjuring the smile required a total readjustment of his muscles.
“Are you fond of cats?” he asked in a crisp British accent that would have sent my eyebrows up had I failed to temper my reaction. He drew the “f” out turning the word into a breathy, theatrical statement, much more than a simple question. His head tilted ever so slightly to the right as he spoke, accentuating the effect.
“I suppose.”
I glanced back down at my watch, ignoring the clock’s ticking. He was late, nine minutes to be exact. That was understandable.
“I am, too. Quite fond of them, in fact.” This time, the words were more fluid, more natural.
“I can see that,” I said, nodding to the cat nestled in his lap, who continued to peer at me. His smile slipped off his face, and he glanced down, stopping the hand he had been petting the cat with. He looked back up at me. His smile had returned and he opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.
“He should be along any moment now,” the receptionist called. “It’s time for my tea, but he will be here soon.” She stood, craning her neck to stare at the clock before walking forward, continuing to eye the mechanism as though she was suspicious of it, expecting it to fall the instant she turned away. She continued like this all the way to the door, and I could have sworn that her head had swiveled around fully as she pulled it shut behind her.
I turned back to the man across from me; his jaw still hung open, and he finally spoke. “Well, I am fond of cats, I assure you.”
Nodding, I again stared at the now-stretching feline. He looked down at it, then up at me, a puzzled expression on his face. “Would you like to pet it?”
I shook my head, politely raising my palm to decline.
“Very well then.” His gaze was fixed on me, and the smile had returned, even larger this time. The skin on his chin grew taut as the grin widened, his lips stretching to reveal two bright rows of teeth, perfectly white. I stared as he continued to smile, pushing past a number of teeth that seemed possible, yet they still kept coming as the smile widened to the edges of his face until the edges disappeared off to the sides of his mouth, replaced by the glistening white.
His lower jaw fell, but the upper one remained in place so that his face was still perfectly level with mine as I stared, horrified, as his fangs became fully visible. It kept going, lowering to reveal a gaping pit in his mouth until he looked like a human nutcracker.
In a flash, he raised the cat to his open mouth and carefully placed it inside. Then, his jaws snapped together with a terrible crunch, and his teeth vanished for a moment.
He smiled again, still too wide, but not impossibly so.
I rescheduled my appointment.
